sick.

Am sick of it. Sick of all this shit. Bah. Will just pretend I never had it all along, will just pretend it was all a dream. It was dreamlike indeed, and it now steers towards a nightmare. God, where are you!?!? Come, catch me again with your grace!!! I am SO SO SO tired. Weariness unlike any felt before. So badly wounded I am, I think I am sinking.... steadily into the quicksand. Please Father, let me see You. Let me recover from this malady! What happened to me? Why am I a shadow of what once was? What did I do wrong? What did I not do? Please Father, help me out of it. Out of the rut, out of the despair that I feel, the sickening crunch that every hour brings to me. Ticking of the clock, a chime of doom.
Forgive me Father, I have failed You. Please recover me to my senses. Please forgive my transgressions. Please shake me out of this nonsense. Please. Show me the people that will help, show me the people that would guide my way to You. Send me an angel to protect me, send me ur legion to fortify my faltering steps.
I have nothing left now. Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless. My spirit finds no joy in my existence. My body remains embroiled in sensual pleasures, my mind warped by material and pride. Free me, Father from all these entanglements. Free me. Help.