dryness.

I feel very parched and dry inside. Perhaps I am still pushing hard now that we have parted. Perhaps I am pushing hard for a closure, where before I was pushing for fruition of the relationship. The difference is a bitter reminder.

Looking back, it was ironic, how I had disregarded the danger signals, how I had plunged ahead with no heed for self preservation. It is ironic how I had wanted to enter to build her up as a person. Ironic cos she thot she wanted to do the same to me too. Perhaps we are too alike in this stand - we were each other's project, and we both cant stand failures. When she fails, she'd junk the project. When I fail, I would retry or mitiagate loses.

In this, we both fail. We both traded in an amorphous quantity called love, which we both could not have understood its full entirety. Perhaps the right people, wrong timing. Perhaps the wrong people, right timing. We never know. God knows. And God had chosen to tell by closing the door on us. Siblings in Christ we remain, yet we know siblings can still be estranged.

I wish her well. I am trying to stop my urge to blog about her. It will soon be over... bearing with it I guess. I can imagine the relief she'd be feeling when all this is over. Ditto for me. Love should never be so hard.