disinterest.

Disinterest. Despair. Disappointment. Deprivation.

I have waited, and waited again. So saddened I am, I know not what to say.
I loathe the day, I fear the night. This period I abhor, in slumber I take flight.
Why did I raise my own hope, like raising of neck to the noose?
Why did I take such perverse joy, in torturing myself?

Unstoppable. Uncontrollable. Undeniable. Understandable.