pastures.

Her single message caused more pain than anything the doc can say. In a way, it was a perverse help... I was so numbed out by what she said. anything the doc told me sounded like good news. 2 weeks seem like a nice time to be cloistered somewhere. Cos everywhere else reminds me of her.

Must I move on? Will me not moving on cause her further hurt? Right to love freely vs right to be unpestered. So, if i love her quietly in a corner, I should not be hurting her at all right? I dunno whats wrong, and I had not been given a satisfactory answer. Without one, I CANNOT move on. Its like a great unsolved mystery that I cannot forgo... How to make her see all this? How to let her know I still care, but i wunt demand anything from her? Why cant she just sit there and accept my love?

Given how things are, we could still be "attached". Couples need not see or call each other everyday. Just giving some form of support to each other is enough. Is that too much of a distraction? Is that too much to ask? Why must I be asked to move on?
It hurts like hell, and opened up all the wounds that I thought had closed.

I need to see her face, look her in the eyes, see the look of a stranger... then I know I have nothing to hold on to. Then I know I have only lost a stranger. Right now, I might lose a gal who might still love me, but is confused at the moment. I cannot afford to lose her if it is so, because I love her too. Too deeply, that I snared her in my demands. Too harshly, that I drove her away. But I still love her.