preached.
Had a long talk with mumsie... And thru her, He spoke.
It was a gentle reminder that when I serve, I rise, when I dun, I fall. Proved by history, proved by facts. I am someone who knows he is in His hands, and at times. I take it for granted. Dun we all?
But He went the extra step, to always put me down, destroy my lofty aspirations and keep me grounded. On retrospect, I thank His wisdom. Had I not remained grounded, I wouldbe more of a jerk that I am. I would have become a full fledged heartless manipulator with arrogance and cruelty. It is in my blood, I can feel it. The many time I had to remind myself to show mercy and grace, testament to it. had I not been schooled thus, i woul dhave failed a long way off. No one likes a mean person.
I had been blessed, and the blessings come in conjection with my service. I was never the brightest pupil, the worst for a period of time too. Yet, I was always the one with most options.
In primary school, choice to go anywhere I wanted. At O's, though I had lousy grades, I had choice of entering the 3 top schools too. His blessings yet again. At A's, again, lousy grades, but I was given so many career options it blew the mind of those who did better. At NS, I had it so easy it was amazing just to look back. Every obstruction in my path was taken away, frens given at every corner. I was so blessed.
His blessings. All. No merit of my own, obsolutely. This I must remember. He helped me when I had nothing, He brings me down when I am puffed up, and always prospers me at the end. Was reminded of all these during chat with mumsie. A stern warning to not forsake Him in my work... For what He gives, He can take away too...
Was reminded of her blessings too. Top student, when she was most fervent, yet denied a chance to fly when she was not. Given top internship when she believed - I hope she holds on to her faith, and get an offer. This sounds too much like prosperity message, and I know there is some influence, but i think thats what He does in a way. Happened to my dad, my sis and I. when we believe, convicted, served, we prospered. His way of blessing I guess. Hope she remembers Him in her glorious moments, and understands.
Am left with a bitter aftertaste with the whole fiasco. Especially after her fren said to inform her of my job, cos she'd be impressed. Made me feel like hiding that fact all the more. Money, power and status - good to haves, but there is more to life than that. And no one can have a monopoly on these.
In a way, I must thank her. I would not have had the strength to leave. Everything seemed so planned, it had to be Divine. Yet, we had not obeyed, and patchwork is always difficult. Man-effort is never as good as God-effort. Perhaps it is for the best. I hope her fren wronged her.
In a way, I knew more of her innocent and naive side. But people change. I changed. My fervour had waivered so long and my service to Him slowed to a trickle cos I was in pursuit of the wrong things... It is time for me to return to my old path - His.
It was a gentle reminder that when I serve, I rise, when I dun, I fall. Proved by history, proved by facts. I am someone who knows he is in His hands, and at times. I take it for granted. Dun we all?
But He went the extra step, to always put me down, destroy my lofty aspirations and keep me grounded. On retrospect, I thank His wisdom. Had I not remained grounded, I wouldbe more of a jerk that I am. I would have become a full fledged heartless manipulator with arrogance and cruelty. It is in my blood, I can feel it. The many time I had to remind myself to show mercy and grace, testament to it. had I not been schooled thus, i woul dhave failed a long way off. No one likes a mean person.
I had been blessed, and the blessings come in conjection with my service. I was never the brightest pupil, the worst for a period of time too. Yet, I was always the one with most options.
In primary school, choice to go anywhere I wanted. At O's, though I had lousy grades, I had choice of entering the 3 top schools too. His blessings yet again. At A's, again, lousy grades, but I was given so many career options it blew the mind of those who did better. At NS, I had it so easy it was amazing just to look back. Every obstruction in my path was taken away, frens given at every corner. I was so blessed.
His blessings. All. No merit of my own, obsolutely. This I must remember. He helped me when I had nothing, He brings me down when I am puffed up, and always prospers me at the end. Was reminded of all these during chat with mumsie. A stern warning to not forsake Him in my work... For what He gives, He can take away too...
Was reminded of her blessings too. Top student, when she was most fervent, yet denied a chance to fly when she was not. Given top internship when she believed - I hope she holds on to her faith, and get an offer. This sounds too much like prosperity message, and I know there is some influence, but i think thats what He does in a way. Happened to my dad, my sis and I. when we believe, convicted, served, we prospered. His way of blessing I guess. Hope she remembers Him in her glorious moments, and understands.
Am left with a bitter aftertaste with the whole fiasco. Especially after her fren said to inform her of my job, cos she'd be impressed. Made me feel like hiding that fact all the more. Money, power and status - good to haves, but there is more to life than that. And no one can have a monopoly on these.
In a way, I must thank her. I would not have had the strength to leave. Everything seemed so planned, it had to be Divine. Yet, we had not obeyed, and patchwork is always difficult. Man-effort is never as good as God-effort. Perhaps it is for the best. I hope her fren wronged her.
In a way, I knew more of her innocent and naive side. But people change. I changed. My fervour had waivered so long and my service to Him slowed to a trickle cos I was in pursuit of the wrong things... It is time for me to return to my old path - His.
posted by Zachary Shim | 2:39 pm
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