age.
I have aged. Or grown. Whichever way you look at it, it just means my years on earth has increased. It came as a shock, or even mild horror, the aftermath of youth sunday. I realise, to use the word "youth" on me would be putting a strain on it. And it is showing.
on being not so young.
You know you r not so young anymore when ur sunday school classmate has gotten married. You know you are not so young anymore when words that spout from your mouth revolves around your career, your worldly cares and yuppy wanna-haves. It is sad, that whilst we can still catch up with the kids in captainball, and even trash them, it is not the same as being "one of them". We have moved beyond the acceptable age. Young people start getting awkward trying to figure out what to call us - mr, bro, or uncle? Granted, we do not look as old, and calling of uncles and aunties were made in jest. Yet, I feel a sense of loss, that I no longer belong to the group labelled "youths".
It means being thrust in the position of responsibility and authority. After years of grappling and fighting for authority and responsibility, being thrust with it kinda left me reeling. I recoiled from it, and took a step back for a respite. It shocked me, to no longer perform beyond expectations, but merely fulfil it. To exercise wisdom as expected from one my age, not someone beyond. Seems to me that I have stagnated... I fear I have regenerated. My fears... Unfounded perhaps. It seemed like life had barely began, but 2.4 decades have passed. I have nothing on my slate to show for success. God, what lies ahead?
On being not so old.
I have not even gone past my mid twenties! It is true, the next few years will zoom past like a flash, but I it will be the period of training that the past 2 decades have prepared me for. I feel God's promise of eternal life already - I feel how short life is already... so much to do, so little time on earth... What does He want me to do? He has planned my path, planted trees along my way to give shade, and sent me angels to gladden my day... What is His plan? I feel this shifting within, this beckoning for more...
What surprise do you have in store for me? What great gift or training O Father? Amen.
on being not so young.
You know you r not so young anymore when ur sunday school classmate has gotten married. You know you are not so young anymore when words that spout from your mouth revolves around your career, your worldly cares and yuppy wanna-haves. It is sad, that whilst we can still catch up with the kids in captainball, and even trash them, it is not the same as being "one of them". We have moved beyond the acceptable age. Young people start getting awkward trying to figure out what to call us - mr, bro, or uncle? Granted, we do not look as old, and calling of uncles and aunties were made in jest. Yet, I feel a sense of loss, that I no longer belong to the group labelled "youths".
It means being thrust in the position of responsibility and authority. After years of grappling and fighting for authority and responsibility, being thrust with it kinda left me reeling. I recoiled from it, and took a step back for a respite. It shocked me, to no longer perform beyond expectations, but merely fulfil it. To exercise wisdom as expected from one my age, not someone beyond. Seems to me that I have stagnated... I fear I have regenerated. My fears... Unfounded perhaps. It seemed like life had barely began, but 2.4 decades have passed. I have nothing on my slate to show for success. God, what lies ahead?
On being not so old.
I have not even gone past my mid twenties! It is true, the next few years will zoom past like a flash, but I it will be the period of training that the past 2 decades have prepared me for. I feel God's promise of eternal life already - I feel how short life is already... so much to do, so little time on earth... What does He want me to do? He has planned my path, planted trees along my way to give shade, and sent me angels to gladden my day... What is His plan? I feel this shifting within, this beckoning for more...
What surprise do you have in store for me? What great gift or training O Father? Amen.
posted by Zachary Shim | 11:43 pm
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