silent blessings.

I realised that I had forgotten how it was I engage in thological debates and reasoning... when I get so absorbed in Him... it feels... good! Refreshed, relieved, rejuvenated. I guess I had gone without for so long, to be with Him again is like fish back to water....

A relationship... one that is loving, harmonious and sustaining, requires constant care and effort in maintenance. I had been neglectful...and it became a one sided request list. For so long, I could not hear Him, for almost as long, I could not careless. He still blesses me - thats all I cared. How self centred. How ashamed I am.
I had raved about not enough feeding, yet today's was SO good... perhaps it was my mindset - if I had wanted to be fed, I would be even if the speaker is a mute. You ujst cannot teach a stubborn heart. Sigh.....

I guess silently blessing is the toughest... being always taken for granted, always being asked and never given... Forgive me Father.