the greatest whinery this side of cyberia

and so it is.... My dream came true... the thawing of the ice around my naked room. Work piled up, only to be decimated by nightfall. A neverending game of hide and seek with the clock. Time slips by when one is happy, and flies by when you are busy. When you are happily busy, it zooms! and so it is.... Due in August.

the return. It is ironic, how my first entry in a long time is written in the firm. Life is indeed full of surprises. I had expected sleepless nights and endless work, content with prospect for some free time to perhaps catch a breather or two. Little did I expect my own office (for unbridled privacy and freedom to surf), my pupil master to be this taciturn lady renown in the firm as a kind and motherly person. And the surprising (and somewhat disturbing) lack of work. Granted, I do not know much of warrants, and the theortical aspects of M&A glenned from school and Investopedia does not really give me any right to partake in any deals. Nevertheless, I feel SO left out, when everyone is running around in their own pool of work, and there I am twiddling pens in my office. Looking out at the sea and the uncompleted casino. Life is good. Too good. So good it bores. Amen. I get off at 6, shapr. Earlier than those pple at Corp and IPT! Where is the adrenaline boost of a 24hr deal? There...

i want rain  rain to clean  rain to make me go to sleep  rain to tell me it is time to go  rain to tell me to justtake things slow  rain to come to cloud the skies  rain to come, late in the night  rain to come, with lightning and thunder  rain to come, to wake me up  from my wide-awake slumber  every waking moment a surreal dream  by the sound of thunder, shattered atream  every memory, past present future  drenched in the waters of the eternal rain  rusted coqwheels, crusted from disuse jolted to movent by volts from above. To know it is meaningless, yet why do i still chase the winds? 

Watched Brokeback, and nearly broke my back laughing. Its hilarious! Loved the scene ironies, the plays of tension, and how normal couply stuff apply to gay couples... interesting. Jess and Adel was hilarious as a combo tho. I should call them the Comedy Duo... they are an slapstick duo made for heaven! Adel and I should be tag teams for the bash-Jess event! AND wait till you go shopping with them! Like kids! Shop No 1: Jess tried to act cute and pout. She got ignored and verbally stabbed. It was so funny, her pout and her post-suan puppyface, that I burst out laughing. Shop No 2: Fighting... FIGHTING over a skirt. Causing so much noise and fracas.. the lovely salesgal dunno whether to laugh, ignore them, or attend to them. I advised her to leave the kids alone... Their antics got me laughing so hard my sides ached tho.. Shop No 3: Jess tried to pout again, and somehow that made the salesgal laugh so hard that she CHOKED. Like WHOA... hahaha.And the salesgal was so ticked that her face...

My uncle finally arrived at 4... after thwarting all my planned social activities for the week with that single mail, he has finally arrived. I dun like entertaining relatives. They either bore me to death, or get too intrusive. But surprisingly, this uncle is interesting. The lilting HK accent aside, he is understandable and very easy to talk to... unassuming and does nto expect us to butter up to him just cos he is an elder shim. I like. Will miss him when he returns to Hk after his arbitration course. Oh well, so long as we are in the same field, our paths will definitely meet! New discovery: I have Hawaiian cousin. REAL polynesian hawaiian a la Lilo and Stitch, not just Chinese Immigrants type... How Cool! So, I have pan-asian, eurasian, asian-african and now, polynesian-asian cousins! We can start a UN conference! Hahahaha... Next trip destination: Hawaii and Florida! Auntie gave birth to twins! Asian-African with blue eyes. How quaint!

It was a sombre affair, tribute service to the departed. We all know he is but elsewhere, yet the bereavement is still shocking. When he was around, I took it for granted, never truly understood the concept of early departure until it is a reality. If only I could turn time back... instead of showing disdain where I should have loved. More. How heartless I have become. Hardened. I realised you can really find financial stuff in the Word. There was a Special Purpose Entity made, such that all debts are transferred to in return for a clean balance sheet. And that SPE took on all debts and raised salvation through grace. Name of that SPE was Christos. Unpassioned, bland depiction of salvation? Perhaps. Yet, in essence thats how he bought all our debts, and died paying it... for us? Rise of the merchant class... the result of globalisation and the dilution of people as corporal entities. Now, it is all money money money. Sickens me. More so, cos I have been sucked into it. Now I begin to s...

Where does ownership lie? Where dies title vest? Who has the right to order? "I will not sacrifice what does not cost me a price" Indeed... how true. Basis of nemo dat rule. How can I cede what is not mine, what I do not have? To truely give, I must first have it and then give away. Inclusive chose of future rights... Looking back, it was really a case of "where did the title vest?". I had the freedom, absolute freedom to deal, that result from the ultimate waiver. Yet, you never know freedom till you exercise that right. And until you exercise that right and later assign it, you never truly give it away. Today, as I listened to some of my peers debating over morality, it chanced upon me that there exist 2 brands of people: those who know, and those who experienced. The difference is clear. There is no clear line which is right, yet it disgusts me when the former group brands the whole world wrong because they failed to truly see. Bah. I strived to be both, yet I kn...

What is life but a series of events, strung though the threads of time, The strings of events both great and small, each a pearl in our memories.. There is a time for everything. When we are budding, we experience growth, a series of "firsts"... the first step, first word, first teeth. As we grow, the first fren, the first test, the first failure.. etc etc.. In time, we know the effects of time by what our peers do. What happens at the natural course of time... is just natural. Tragedy is where events happen before their time. Death comes to us all, a decided fate the moment we first drew breath. We will all surely die. Yet, it is the manner of death,a nd the time of death that separates the tragic from the predestined. He left a happy man, after years ravaged by cancer. Assured of his salvation, living life to its fullest, there is no other better way to leave than his. Yet. 28. So young. So much more. So much less. So much. So? Death happens to us all, and the years are but...

Maligned. Discriminated. Angered. Called black by a dark pitted pot. Warned against by a greater wolf. Am I to feel flattered that my reputation precedes me? Hardly. Evil works by evil mouths, malicious words by malicious minds. Bah. Fault me not for having more frens who wear skirts. Fault me not for treating the fairer sex as peers, not targets. Fault me not for being honest and frank. Fault me not for howling with rage at such unjust rants. Warned? Against me? Hah. So the one who befriends is worse than the one who covets. I see the new logic to this. Forgive my conservative mind. I never knew I do ladies a disfavour by befriending them. Shall I henceforth keep my peace, and rejoin the ranks of beasts? For beasts only know the Hunt, live for the Hunt, and die by the Hunt. The very thought fills me with rancour. My peace has been trampled on. Where there was neutrality, there is now disdain; where there was respect, there is now contempt. Where there was camaderie, there is now suspi...

For Christmans this year, I junked the hackneyed carols and stayed at home. Thank God. :) It was a wonderful night spent incompany of family, good food, wine, and nice ice cream log cake. I ate so much I was in serious pain. Serious. So much for training. As for Christmas day, it was spent at grandma's. It is amazing how kids grow. My cousins have matured even more, and they continue to amaze me... Precocious kids. And the poor married ones, shackled with burden of marriage... alas...Oh well.... leaves me their share of the wine! Dad made a fool of himself and brought dessert wine instead of proper reds. Boohoo. But we were suitably watered when someone brought up a case. Bliss. And since the nice people at MOS were persistent enuff to send me so many invites, I arranged for a secondment... just in case the family gather proved boring.. Met moy chums at 10, and we boogied till 4. Mnistry of Sound. Ministry: a play on "administration" and "authoritative body". In...

I am turning reclusive... or what? I received MOS invites, but junked them. I turned down dinners. I shyed away from a seminar. What's wrong with me?!?!?! And now I am holed up at home, complaining of boredom. Like HUH? Sheesh, whats wrong with me? Drats.

Is it wrong to ask for more in life? What is the thin line that separates greed from work? Even as I go through the week, I am faced with these issues. Is it a compromise of my life to have 2 jobs where others have 1? To have respectability by day and money from the sideline by night? I am confused... The prospect of earning excites me... But I dun wanna be swept away by this wave of materialism. Do I really need all this? But, there is just so much more I could do with more money. Bummer. I give myself 6 mths. If I were to read this 6 mths later, and realise I have become a materalistic and money minded sop, I will find the answer.

there is something wrong with my blog. I cannot postdate. Neither can I post long posts. This is a test posting.

It was 6 days of fun, reflection, meditation and learning. The latter was a tad muted, but otherwise, the anntic experience was an excellent touch to end the year with, right after that grueling exam marathoning and stanchart's marathon. (I got qie-ed by 2 gals by an hour - how embarrassing...) I am so thankful for the lives who entered mine, new frens I have made and people who made me see how God has truly transformed their lives. I think it will take a lot of hits to my head, with frisbies and what not, before I would forget the fun tai-ti session, the men's secret plenary at Domus C, the Captain's ball where we scored a glorious 19-9, the pop-pop chase, the awe inspiring worship sessions, the tears inducing world prayer session, and bonding sessions with my group. I got really crazy towards the end, and my sadistic humour revealed itself (sorry to Cher, whom I assaulted with pyrotechnics, sorry to the 2 whom I suppose could see "eye-to-eye"). I guess I had a g...

It was crazy, today. I only managed to fall asleep at 2am, and by 3 I have to be up, preparing myself for trip to the Esplanade. Before we even move off, apprehension weighed me down like a 10 tonne anvil - how can I, who barely trained, who barely carbo loaded, who had 1 hr of sleep, be able to survive this self-inflicted ordeal? At the scream of the buzzers, I closed the option of withdrawal. The run continues. But, all that I had feared came to pass. The poor carbo loading I had gave me endless troubles during the runs. I could not pick up speed though I had the energy, cos my tummy keeps acting up. I settled for a fast amble, which was really demoralising. It sucks, knowing you can run, but you cant cos of other factors. Somewhere along the way, I got separated from Jess and co. At that point, I truly felt a bit lost, and the prospect of 42km alone is pretty daunting. God provided, however. As I ambled along, I met this veteran marathoner, Jimmy (15 marathons). He was nice and gave...

Today's worship was a farce, and I spent the time in the prayer room, sharing with Dave. It was a sad session, of comiseration, sharing of imminent departures, and uncertainties. I left the room with a keen revelation, and an insight to WOW's malaise. The malady WOW face is serious, one that will eventually spell its demise. With the death of it previous 2 incarnations still in my recollection, the death knell seems to be starting its toll. We have a grave problem: guys. This problem seems to be a reflection of mine as well - the imbalance of the make-up wrecking havoc, its lope-sidedness chartering a deviant course. I had never come to this conclusion before, not until Anntic, where I worshipped amongst brothers, when their bassy chorus made me feel right at home, and our collective convictions clear clarion calls for christ. In stark juxtaposition, WOW worship weeped dismal treble, and as I looked around, I see bored and tired faces. Where is the passion? Where is the joy? Wh...

This is very strange. Strangely me. I have been liberated, freed from the chains of exams. Yet, I still feel this HUGE mental block... this inertia that makes me cautious about my time, as if every second left has to be spent with GREAT consideration of what I might have done with it otherwise. This is how weird? This is the vacation!!!! But my subconsciousness is not aware of that fact. Woe! I feel GUILTY?!?! watching the tv, waking up late?! The habit, of planning a tight schedule and hording time lingers... and really screws up my mind! ARGH. Cant seem to enjoy holidays as it is supposed to be... Distressed indeed. BAH. HELP! The inner me needs to get out more often! I feel cloistered in a prison of my own making, and it SUCKS being torn both ways ... ARGH.

Sauron, a domiciliary resident of Mordor, owns a precious ring. A thief steals the ring but drowns in a river in Mordor. While fishing in Mordor, Gollum, a domiciliary resident of Wilderland, finds the ring in the river and takes it home to Wilderland. Bilbo meets Gollum in Wilderland and wins the ring from Gollum in a gaming contract, expressed to be governed by the law of Mordor. Bilbo then brings the ring to Singapore where he hands it to Frodo, in consideration for the delivery of share certificates representing shares in Riders Inc, a company incorporated in Rohan. Unknown to Bilbo, Frodo had bought the shares in Wilderland from a thief who had stolen the shares from Gollum. Assume the following: Under all relevant laws, a thief obtains no title to stolen chattels, and a finder has good title against everyone but the true owner. Under the law of Wilderland, an exception applies for things found in rivers and lakes, where the finder has good title even against the original ow...

damn bored. bored bored. just bored. bah.

The end has come and passed. The paper was not as bad as I thought. In fact, the worst of the lot was actually the one I thot I would ace. Darts. And now... it is the start of the period of uncertainty... of haphazardly piled and compiled string of activities and programs... called vacation. Hmmm lots to do, learn and enjoy. But, which first? What first? How? Moolah. I need moolah to fuel such pursuits. Hmmm. Donations anyone? hah. Went to clear out my room today... and I felt this shred of nostalgia. The many weeks spent in that little hole. I will actually miss it. And the neighbours. Last heroic act of saving greasy Gracie from the terror lizards, one last time scaring Gracie with the spoils. Hah, she actually cried. i was traumatised. Sigh. The last day of the semester. The penultimate one. Drats, I miss school already. Liberty. U crave it when you dun have it, but when it is urs for the taking, you miss the unseen shackles. Contradiction.