of feasting and drinking
what a boring day!!! too much of good things bores pple to death!!!! No angpow increment too! bleah... At this rate, how can i EVER afford the G3? dammit.
Guide to CNY Visiting by Zach:
Step 1: You smile, greet and give whatever relevent salutations
Step 2: You retreat to a corner and nurse a glass of wine/beer/coke. Make yourself visible, but not TOO visible. (will be exolained in following steps)
Step 3: You wanna be somewhere near the host(ess)... for obvious angpow collecting reasons. Smile a lot, give mindless banter, all the time signalling to ur host what a nice young chap u are, and its high time he gets his well deserved angpow. When the host goes off to get hisher stash of prepacked monies, look away, pretend u have NO idea whats going on. Act surprised. Receive with grace and some muttered blessings. Flushing helps. Really.
Step 4: Why NOT to be too visible.. Pesky relatives asking intrusive questions... like "why isnt ur gf with you?" "Why are you unattached? What happened to the previous?" "Which firm are you selling your soul to?" " You gonna be a corporate whore or an ambulance chaser?" Bleah. The more insidious ones will try to act nonchalant. And start telling you how smart your nephews/nieces are, and how their future accomplishments WILL put me to shame. Bah.
Step 5: Keep refilling your wine/beer/coke. Hydration is vital in any successful visiting operation. The movement will also allow you to facilitate Step 2 or 3 if they fail by normal means.... get attention, or evade pesky questions. If caught, say you are tipsy and need a rest.
Step 6: Eat the tidbits. There are there for a reason, yes? but eat slowly... A guest eating and drinking is a happy guest: you want ur host to think that, yes? A fellow guest eating and drinking will also be nice and harmless, so that puts u in the right position to enter any convo that you fancy. Be nice, and they will be nice to you.
Step 7: Hinting that you need to leave... to your parents, host and fellow guest. Try to announce that 10 min you actually have to, cos it WILL drag. Act reluctant, like you REALLY wanna stay the whole day pigging out on bakkwa and whatnot... and leave the instant there is an opening. You might start a mass exodus, cos there would ALWAYS be fellow suffereing visitors caught in the midst of chatting old aunts. Be nice and not call their bluff. They might call yours too.
Step 8: Retreat to somewhere outside the house and regroup. Advise on next bext course of actions, whether to target more unsuspecting relatives, or to retreat and rest.
Step 9: Repeat from Step 1.
Ok. This 9 simple steps saw me thru today. phew. It was tuff - came home slightly tipsy, very bothered and feeling slightly harrassed. But at least i survived. All these, for angpow considerations. oh well......
Friday night... salsa and rueda... i like... hahaha
Guide to CNY Visiting by Zach:
Step 1: You smile, greet and give whatever relevent salutations
Step 2: You retreat to a corner and nurse a glass of wine/beer/coke. Make yourself visible, but not TOO visible. (will be exolained in following steps)
Step 3: You wanna be somewhere near the host(ess)... for obvious angpow collecting reasons. Smile a lot, give mindless banter, all the time signalling to ur host what a nice young chap u are, and its high time he gets his well deserved angpow. When the host goes off to get hisher stash of prepacked monies, look away, pretend u have NO idea whats going on. Act surprised. Receive with grace and some muttered blessings. Flushing helps. Really.
Step 4: Why NOT to be too visible.. Pesky relatives asking intrusive questions... like "why isnt ur gf with you?" "Why are you unattached? What happened to the previous?" "Which firm are you selling your soul to?" " You gonna be a corporate whore or an ambulance chaser?" Bleah. The more insidious ones will try to act nonchalant. And start telling you how smart your nephews/nieces are, and how their future accomplishments WILL put me to shame. Bah.
Step 5: Keep refilling your wine/beer/coke. Hydration is vital in any successful visiting operation. The movement will also allow you to facilitate Step 2 or 3 if they fail by normal means.... get attention, or evade pesky questions. If caught, say you are tipsy and need a rest.
Step 6: Eat the tidbits. There are there for a reason, yes? but eat slowly... A guest eating and drinking is a happy guest: you want ur host to think that, yes? A fellow guest eating and drinking will also be nice and harmless, so that puts u in the right position to enter any convo that you fancy. Be nice, and they will be nice to you.
Step 7: Hinting that you need to leave... to your parents, host and fellow guest. Try to announce that 10 min you actually have to, cos it WILL drag. Act reluctant, like you REALLY wanna stay the whole day pigging out on bakkwa and whatnot... and leave the instant there is an opening. You might start a mass exodus, cos there would ALWAYS be fellow suffereing visitors caught in the midst of chatting old aunts. Be nice and not call their bluff. They might call yours too.
Step 8: Retreat to somewhere outside the house and regroup. Advise on next bext course of actions, whether to target more unsuspecting relatives, or to retreat and rest.
Step 9: Repeat from Step 1.
Ok. This 9 simple steps saw me thru today. phew. It was tuff - came home slightly tipsy, very bothered and feeling slightly harrassed. But at least i survived. All these, for angpow considerations. oh well......
Friday night... salsa and rueda... i like... hahaha
posted by Zachary Shim | 9:41 pm
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