anguish.

Bitterness. Regret. Utter sadness.
I feel like a jerk, of the worst kind on earth. i probably am. Damn, how i loathe myself!
Why did I blab, why did I make stupid observations that were not for me to make? Why did I go kick myself when all was fine, and stick my own head into the guilloitine? Why do i constantly do the opposite of what I intedn to do? Why do I say "go" when i mean "come"? Why do I put down what I mean to place on a pedestal? WHY.
Perhaps it is a form of evolutionary mechanism at work. Perhaps, this madness I possess is there to prevent the likes of me from propagating, a way to check on this menace that is I am. Then again, it could be just pure madness.

Anguish.
Formless, dark, and acidic. Slowly, it eats away what I hold dear... and all I can do is observe, hapless, screaming in silence. I scream, but no one hears, cos I scream with the voices in my head. I struggle, against forces unseen, and I am overpowered again and again. Torment. Feeling the knife scraping the surface of the heart, never cutting, but always hurting. Realisation that light has gone, that all is left darkness; knowledge that hope that was within reach is now one inch too far away. forever.